Hope & Lessons I am Learning

End of death, sin, agony and pain.
Abundant joy and life everlasting.
Savior for the broken, imperfect souls in every one of us.
Triumph over addiction, hate, loneliness, depression and tears.
Everyone who asks has a mansion in His heaven.
Redeeming grace, love and forgiveness He gives His children.

These are the the blessings that my husband, my parents my grandparents are now enjoying, yet my frail human spirit misses them all and thinks of them daily. Part of me longs to be with them, yet I am still here. This means that my job is not yet done. Due to my Cerebral Palsy, I did not expect to be. Several people told my Barry to expect to be a widower at a young age. The irony is that God had other plans and took my husband first. just last year.

I had grieved deeply before.  But, my grandparents as well as my parents were all very ill, very elderly or both. In any case, I had time to get used to the idea. I had learned that it is better that they go Home, away from me, that for me to pray for them to stay with me is very selfish on my part. This did not come to me in a flash of great insight, but gradually. I lost them slowly, inch by inch. I was aware of the magnitude of their suffering whether they spoke of it or not. I felt it!

With Barry, it was very different. I felt like he was stolen from me and our daughter. I watched her do CPR on him. I saw him being yanked to the ground as the EMT’s arrived. After 33 years 3 months 1 day and 22 hours, he was just gone in the blink of eye, before my daughter could tell him that we loved him. There was no denial nor bargaining with God. I tried. I was reading the last few pages of the book by Don Piper, 90 Minutes in Heaven.  I was told by someone to leave – they needed room to move around. Like so many times before, I was in the way, my chair took up too much space, and it kept me from being where I should have in the bed, holding his hand. Suddenly, it occurred to me that this was the reason that God had me read the book. I was to pray my Barry back to life. I prayed and I prayed. I could not lose him now. In a few months we would be in a position to buy a home of our our own, out of a major city. His tests had actually shown stability and his blood sugar and blood pressure were down. Therefore, death seemed impossible!  Up until I left him at the funeral home for the last. time, I held out hope for a miracle! His face looked at peace, not contorted in pain. The constant pain made him have age lines that he may not have had yet, but for the pain, The lines were not present in younger years. The biggest lesson I learned was God/Jesus does hear and respond to our prayers. Barry was finally free of pain and constant self-doubt. He never felt worthy or good enough on this Earth! From the look of peace on his face, I knew that he finally felt good enough, loved enough. That was  a miracle!  (Matt. 7-8). Also, Romans 8: 28. However, I wanted it done here on Earth with me to witness it, but God wanted it done a different way! Until, I left him, I thought it may be the ultimate Joke. He looked like he was having the best sleep in ages! There was a small part of me that expected him to suddenly awaken and say “Gotcha good that time, didn’t I?

Who was going to take care of me? I certainly did not want my/our daughter to carry that burden. The truth is I need a lot of help with ADL’s, otherwise, called essential activities of daily living. These include: bathing, dressing, transferring in/out of bed etc. Another lesson I learned is just how much our daughter is like her dad. Just at the time that my income went down a great deal and my rent was going up well past my total income, my daughter found a place which she could afford, just as her dad had planned, away from the city. While the care-giving situation has not always been smooth (it takes 6 people to take the place of my Barry). Naturally, that doesn’t even count the spousal things that go into it! BUT, my point is that God provides! (Matthew 6). Again, (Romans 8:28). Sometimes, it is just enough, but He is taking care of me!cropped-doves.jpg2012

 

FINALLY, I  was reminded that;

Tribute to My Dad, “Big John”

One of the most precious memories of  my young childhood, when I was knee high to a grasshopper, was when my Dad would pick me up and dance with me, especially after work. It seemed extra special to be up when almost everyone else slept. He managed movie theaters, so he often got home well after midnight, particularly in the summer. Drive-Inns were still cool in those days. One could see a double feature for the price of one! Anyway, when my dad came roaring up in with his 1965 Mustang Square back, it usually woke me up! My mom enjoyed after midnight snacks. Her favorite ones were the cheap tacos from Jack in the Box. Can you believe that they were a nickle each back in the Stone Age of my youth?!

If Daddy was in a good mood, and I heard the rustle of a bag, I would call out. “Hi Dad! I love you! I love you too, Mommy,” not wishing her to feel left out. Sometimes, Mommy would put on the radio if she knew I was awake. I remember this particular occasion quite well!

I was about 3 or 4 years old. Daddy came into my room and said, “What’s up,  Snicklefritz!’That was a nickname he had for me. I looked up the word on Google; snicklefritz is a word from the Pennsylvania Dutch culture. It refers to an exuberant, mischievous kid who is very chatty as well. That description fit me in those days. I gave Daddy a bright smile as he picked me up. I was named Kathy, after all. A popular doll was named Chatty Cathy at that time, so just perhaps, I lived up to that name as well!

He had me giggling in no time as he whirled me around and around to the music. I caught sight of Mommy in the doorway. She had a genuinely beautiful smile! I loved that smile! For one moment in time I didn’t think of my Cerebral Palsy – the fact that I was unable to walk. I was free as a bird and free of my wheelchair. I was just a little girl sharing a special time with her daddy – Big John! It seemed that although I lacked the ability to move my legs and feet well, I had a hyperactive, precocious mind. Suddenly I said, “Daddy, I am so light on my feet! He had a marvelous roar of a laugh – a big belly laugh that shook his whole body and a snort or two was mixed in it. I loved to make him laugh because it made him happy. Dad laughed so hard and for so long that he almost had to put me down.

I knew it was a special moment for Daddy too because he recounted it to many of his friends for years to come with that same wonderful belly laugh!  When my daughter whirled around with her Daddy, my husband, about the same age, I felt the same surge of joy when he danced around the room with her. It just goes to show that it can be a fantastic thing when history repeats itself! Have a great Father’s Day Pops! Sending my love up to you!

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=Dancing+with+my+father#id=1&vid=02b1754006cf390 a6ba0e9b6c7b4cd73&action=click

Dad and me1965-ford-mustang

Hope for Eternity

Jesus rapture1 Thess. 4.:13-18.

Those Who Died in Christ

13 Now we do not want you to be uninformed, believers, about those who are asleep [in death], so that you will not grieve [for them] as the others do who have no hope [beyond this present life]. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again [as in fact He did], even so God [in this same way—by raising them from the dead] will bring with Him those [believers] who have fallen asleep in Jesus. 15 For we say this to you by the Lord’s [own] word, that we who are still alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will in no way precede [into His presence] those [believers] who have fallen asleep [in death]. 16 For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a shout of command, with the voice of the [a]archangel and with the [blast of the] trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain [on the earth] will simultaneously be caught up (raptured) together with them [the resurrected ones] in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord! 18 Therefore comfort and encourage one another with these words [concerning our reunion with believers who have died].

What a wonderful, amazing hope this is! I cannot wait for that day of the rapture! I have so many questions. I know my husband visits me quite often, at night when I am asleep. I wonder how this works. Their bodies are asleep, but I wonder how they get to visit ever so briefly! It is a great comfort to me; doubtless to many others as well whose loved ones have has passed on. David Jeremiah, a well – known pastor, author and Biblical scholar, says that not only do we get brand new bodies, we will have jobs that we will love  and they will be perfectly suited for them! What kinds of jobs are they? Will I meet the baby I lost so early in pregnancy? Will I know him or her? Will my beloved pets be there too? So many questions! Take care and hold on to the hope we have in Jesus!

 

Hangin’ Hammocks Can Be Hazardous, but Fun Too

What my kid has to go through just to read and relax on a camping trip,

As soon as she tried to lay on the silly hammock, it started to sway and tip,

When she had climbed most of the way onto it, to the ground it did dip,

On a brighter note, she wasn’t hurt since the hammock didn’t totally flip,

The great book had to wait a bit; until the tree had a strong enough grip!

 

Kristie's hammock

My contribution to Comedy Plus https://comedy-plus.com/?wref=bif

What I Think My Cat Thinks….

Isis sleeping!

Uggg, it is so hard to sleep with all  of these dogs around,

They tease me. and on me, they constantly bound,

They are so dumb that they don’t know I am the queen of this home,

No dog is going to keep me, I GUARANTEE you, from my daily roam.

A positively lovely cat like me needs her undisturbed beauty sleep,

I must cover my eyes to get some peace; thank you all a heap!

 

My contribution to Feline Friday on Comedy Plus!

Feline Friday