1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Why are we so quick to judge me – the way I appear or my feelings?
I can’t win with some people. If I cry for the loss of my husband, some think that I am falling apart beyond all repair. On the other hand, if I don’t at the mention of his name, they say that I am so strong, or they openly say that they do not understand why I am not in an ocean of tears. Here is what I have learned about grief through all of my grief experiences. I think of all of those that I have lost very often – especially my parents and grandparents. Let me tell you that there is not one minute of any day that my husband is not in my heart and mind! There were only a few days in our 33 years 3-month marriage that we did not see each other. Don’t tell me that I cannot mark married, that I must check WIDOW! I realize that I cannot list him as my emergency contact any longer, after all, there are no phones in heaven. Nobody gets to tell me how to feel or how to grieve; it is as personal what brings me joy.
Nobody knows how someone really feels in his or her mind and heart! A smile often hides profound sadness. Laughter keeps the tears from flowing down in streams. Grief never subsides. It changes, one gets used to its existence and learns to live with it, perhaps. When someone loses someone so vital to them that they lose a huge part of themselves, they don’t want pity. They want people to take a few moments to listen, to hear them and show empathy. There are many types of grief and loss. It does not always a traditional death. It can be a different type a loss of a home, friend, an intimate relationship, health, arms, legs etc. Let us remember to be kinder to one another.